2008 Retreat Notes

In the Harmony chapter of my book Time for Awakening, I refer to notes I took from a phone call with Daniel Ingram. These notes helped me integrate and adjust to a profound way of being while I relaxed with the spacious views of the Andaman Sea in Langkawi, Malaysia.

• Focus more on the vibrations, and the width or narrowness of attention, spatial qualities. I felt this was very helpful and really appreciated this advice.
• Around decisions, wait until I get home and see what makes sense. I couldn’t help but wonder about several things, and some of the reflecting I was doing was harmonizing the ultimate understanding with conventional life.
• Stay away from samatha, or concentration practices until I have mastered this level of awareness. I wasn’t sure how to control this, it happened so fast and often, just as I was falling asleep or before waking. I was into out-of-body experiences and other deep experiences. I knew I needed more study and support.
• Cut grooves in the practice, power down and shift through the cycles by resonating with them—with each little tiny flickering sensation. This I could do, and was doing to the best of my ability at the time. And, there were times to slow down and take it easier to adjust.
• Avoid all content-driven discussions, as much as possible. I’m not very good at this. I like to share and get acquainted with people’s stories. But, being primarily alone, it was highly reduced. It was so that I don’t get pulled back into believing everything and solidifying a sense of self which was now quite painful.
• If there is resistance or tension, just resonate with the sensations/vibrations of that tension, notice the vibrational quality of it. Yes, I was doing this. It is easy to write about, but it is incredibly hard to do because there were energies that kept pulling back and pushing onward. Taking refuge in the Dhamma was the only way.
• Sit twice a day, and try to see how fast I can go through a cycle until I can cycle in one hour. This felt fun. I found the shift to be quite distinct and I didn’t see how I could shift through an entire cycle in only one hour. I was happy for a half a day at best.
• When in re-observation: shut up, handcuff myself to a chair, and be the vibrations. Just work through it and with it, even the resistance to it. Good advice. I was doing this. Massages and being in water were very helpful because I was often unaware of how much tension I carried in my body when going through a tough state. Drinking extra water was also helpful. Water will move earth and put out fire.
• Check with American yogis to see which teachers would be most congruent to work with back at home. This was going to be tough. I didn’t know anyone who I could talk with openly, who I felt knew my practice and could compassionately understand the context of my life for integration.
• Be an example to others who will be looking to see if it was worth it for them to support my trip to Malaysia. I was doing the best I could with this. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone. I often let others know how much I appreciated them.
• Check in again in a few weeks. Nice of him to mention it, but unlikely Daniel would find time being that he did this work on the side, fitting it into an overly full schedule.